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JAZZMAN646

Articles Posted: 47  Links Seeded: 132
Member Since: 4/2007  Last Seen: 3/14/2010

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{"contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}

Yes Jenna Bush Is Pregnant...by an Alien...

News Type: Event — Mon Aug 20, 2007 11:29 AM EDT
odd-news, republicans, pregnancy, aliens, jenna-bush, area-51, compton, snoop-dog, alien-combatants, alien-invaders, family-vaules, women-in-crises
By jazzman646

Secret Service Agent fights Godpoons. Was he defending Jenna or trying to keep her away from her lover?

Godpoons is being held here by the US govt,.

Godpoons, shown here without his bio suit, claims he loves Jenna and wants to provide a good home for her and the baby on the planet Izzle

advertisement

I now have solid evidence that Jenna Bush is pregnant...by an alien. One picture here, released by the govt., supposedly shows the alien, identified as Godpoons, a native of the planet Izzle, assaulting, and overpowering, the Secret Service agent assigned to protect Jenna, before abducting, and impregnating her.

Godpoons was later captured with Jenna, by the FBI, 50 miles north of Los Angelas. However, Godspoons claims he and Jenna had consensual relations, and that he actually had to defend himself and Jenna from the Secret Service agent, who was infatuated with Jenna, and incensed that he and Jenna had developed, "a relationship"

There is evidence, that the US govt. is now engaged in a cover up, and is currently holding the alien at maximum security facility at Area 51, in Nevada.

This reporter was able to obtain a picture (shown below), from an anonymous government source, which shows Godpoons, without his bio-suit on, which the alien says he is forced to wear, in order to protect himself from the atmospheric effects of global warming, and not to hide his true identity.

My source states the US govt. may be about to declare Godpoons, an "alien combatant", which would allow them to hold him indefinitely, without trial.

{"contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
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Published to:

  • jazzman646's Column, All of Newsvine
  • Groups: Media Watch, NYTimes Forums Refugees, Silly and Stupid, Utopia
  • Regions: none
  • Public Discussion (58)
{"commentId":961068,"authorDomain":"nytimes-forum-refugees"}
george s

What a bunch of sh1t!

{"commentId":961068,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"nytimes-forum-refugees"}
  • 5 votes
Reply#1 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 11:33 AM EDT
{"commentId":961075,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
jazzman646

georgie...I stand by this story, and my source 100%!!!

{"commentId":961075,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
  • 6 votes
Reply#2 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 11:35 AM EDT
{"commentId":961167,"authorDomain":"wharrison55"}
Bill Harrison

Good stuff, Jazz.

{"commentId":961167,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"wharrison55"}
  • 4 votes
#2.1 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 12:03 PM EDT
Reply
{"commentId":961098,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
jazzman646

What a bunch of sh1t!

Exactly what are you skeptical of george? The govt's story, or Godpoons?

{"commentId":961098,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
  • 3 votes
Reply#3 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 11:40 AM EDT
{"commentId":961118,"authorDomain":"agio"}
agio

Izzle needs women.

{"commentId":961118,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"agio"}
  • 4 votes
Reply#4 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 11:46 AM EDT
{"commentId":961131,"authorDomain":"vanessa-wilson73"}
Vanessa Wilson

Crikey. The alien sub plot could explain a lot about Jenna's family ;)

{"commentId":961131,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"vanessa-wilson73"}
  • 6 votes
Reply#5 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 11:49 AM EDT
{"commentId":961345,"authorDomain":"wood-s"}
trex-138069

Vanessa, this could enormously improve the average intelligence of the Bush clan. It might also do a lot for their sense of ethics and, for the males, security about their manhood.

Tell us more about the values and political institutions of Izzle, Jazzman! I suspect that Bush family reunions are about to become much more fun.

{"commentId":961345,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"wood-s"}
  • 5 votes
#5.1 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 12:54 PM EDT
{"commentId":961753,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
jazzman646

Sue,

I really don't know much about Izzle. I'm told they apolitical. I do know they love art, and have a great art history, which I'm sure as a professor of art history, you can appreciate

I'm told Godpoons himself did this painting, which depicts his first encounter with Jenna:

Jenna In Love

{"commentId":961753,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
  • 3 votes
#5.2 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:55 PM EDT
Reply
{"commentId":961224,"authorDomain":"epiphany-sorbet"}
epiphany sorbet

Godpoons looks sorta like Snoop Dog, doesn't he?

{"commentId":961224,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"epiphany-sorbet"}
  • 4 votes
Reply#6 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 12:22 PM EDT
{"commentId":961655,"authorDomain":"2timothy42"}
Sectim42

Godpoons looks sorta like Snoop Dog, doesn't he?

Not to mention Snoop Dog backwards is Godspoons

{"commentId":961655,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"2timothy42"}
  • 5 votes
#6.1 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:29 PM EDT
{"commentId":961666,"authorDomain":"epiphany-sorbet"}
epiphany sorbet

Sectim

ack - I noticed that after my post:)

You don't suppose that the whole idea of Jenna being pregnant is a malicious rumor, do you?

{"commentId":961666,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"epiphany-sorbet"}
  • 3 votes
#6.2 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:33 PM EDT
{"commentId":961689,"authorDomain":"wharrison55"}
Bill Harrison

Epi, maybe it's rolla's love chile.

{"commentId":961689,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"wharrison55"}
  • 1 vote
#6.3 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:39 PM EDT
{"commentId":961699,"authorDomain":"epiphany-sorbet"}
epiphany sorbet

bill,

Now, if you would have said "grudge" chile . . .

;p

{"commentId":961699,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"epiphany-sorbet"}
  • 1 vote
#6.4 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:42 PM EDT
{"commentId":961716,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
jazzman646

Izzleians are known to be "shape-changers", and often assume the physical likeness of celebrities.

{"commentId":961716,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
  • 3 votes
#6.5 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:45 PM EDT
{"commentId":961773,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
jazzman646

Kate,

Maybe Snoop happens to look like Godpoons =)

My source says Godpoons age has been determined to be at least 785 years old...in earth years.

In fact Snoop may be the illegitimate son of Godpoons. He once had a thing for the sisthas.

{"commentId":961773,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
  • 5 votes
#6.6 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:00 PM EDT
Reply
{"commentId":961340,"authorDomain":"nytimes-forum-refugees"}
george s

Jenna Bush is a good looking woman, I'm surprised someone hasn't latched on to her sooner.

{"commentId":961340,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"nytimes-forum-refugees"}
  • 2 votes
Reply#7 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 12:53 PM EDT
{"commentId":961650,"authorDomain":"2timothy42"}
Sectim42

Jenna Bush is a good looking woman, I'm surprised someone hasn't latched on to her sooner.

Really? Barbara's way better looking, but I still wouldn't put her in the "really good looking" category.

{"commentId":961650,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"2timothy42"}
  • 1 vote
#7.1 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:27 PM EDT
Reply
{"commentId":961474,"authorDomain":"patricksays"}
Patrick D.

"Yes Jenna Bush Is Pregnant...by an Alien..."

By the one who cuts Daddy's grass or the one who cleans Daddy's pool?

{"commentId":961474,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"patricksays"}
  • 10 votes
Reply#8 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 1:33 PM EDT
{"commentId":961653,"authorDomain":"2timothy42"}
Sectim42

By the one who cuts Daddy's grass or the one who cleans Daddy's pool?

That is HILARIOUS! It reminds me of the Lil'Bush episode on Comedy Central where George goes to Mexico to pick up some "help" to take care of his dog. Hilarious!

{"commentId":961653,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"2timothy42"}
  • 4 votes
#8.1 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:28 PM EDT
{"commentId":962469,"authorDomain":"rstilt"}
hseldon

Well done PD

{"commentId":962469,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"rstilt"}
  • 1 vote
#8.2 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 7:20 PM EDT
Reply
{"commentId":961477,"authorDomain":"schnoo"}
schnoo

Bizzle Rizzle Fashizzle Dizzle.

{"commentId":961477,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"schnoo"}
  • 5 votes
Reply#9 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 1:34 PM EDT
{"commentId":961481,"authorDomain":"Pasi"}
PasiDeleted
{"commentId":961550,"authorDomain":"stevetherobot"}
stevetherobot

I wondered what the writers for the Weekly World News would be doing now that that paper has shut down. Now I know.

{"commentId":961550,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"stevetherobot"}
  • 3 votes
Reply#11 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 1:53 PM EDT
{"commentId":961646,"authorDomain":"2timothy42"}
Sectim42

I am all for the creativity and genius that is behind this particular post. But really, it needs to have satire or something indicating it isn't a real news story in the tags. I feel like Newsvine tries to be a serious news source, but it also has personality, which is why posts like these are fun / good for the community, but lets at least have a way to identify.

{"commentId":961646,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"2timothy42"}
  • 1 vote
Reply#12 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:26 PM EDT
{"commentId":961695,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
jazzman646

Section 42, I did tag it as "Oddnews"

{"commentId":961695,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    #12.1 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:40 PM EDT
    {"commentId":961914,"authorDomain":"paperdragon"}
    Dennis P. McCannDeleted
    {"commentId":962004,"authorDomain":"songbird6"}
    songbird6

    Right on, Dennis. It tickles me to think that this story could easily slip unnoticed among the "real" news on Newsvine. What is "real," anyway? I'll bet Godpoons can tell us!

    {"commentId":962004,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"songbird6"}
    • 3 votes
    #12.3 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 4:13 PM EDT
    Reply
    {"commentId":961857,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    jazzman646

    Sorry for messing up your name above.

    {"commentId":961857,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    • 1 vote
    Reply#13 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:18 PM EDT
    {"commentId":961858,"authorDomain":"Missy2"}
    Kathleen54

    This is a chance for the Bush clan to prove that there is a connection to empty space beyond that which is between the prez's ears.

    {"commentId":961858,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"Missy2"}
    • 3 votes
    Reply#14 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:19 PM EDT
    {"commentId":961863,"authorDomain":"lisaed"}
    lisaed

    jazzy - oh, my - oh, my......did you forget the satire tag? Shame on you!

    {"commentId":961863,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"lisaed"}
    • 4 votes
    Reply#15 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:20 PM EDT
    {"commentId":961902,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    jazzman646

    lisa,

    Did the other NV Jenna pregnancy story have a "satire" tag on it?

    I feel mine qualifies as news, just as much as that one did, although I can't reveal my reliable source.

    {"commentId":961902,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    • 6 votes
    #15.1 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:29 PM EDT
    Reply
    {"commentId":961865,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    jazzman646

    I am all for the creativity and genius that is behind this particular post. But really, it needs to have satire or something indicating it isn't a real news story in the tags.

    Sectim,

    I feel my story is as newsworthy as any other on NewsVine related to the speculation of Jenna Bush being pregnant.

    {"commentId":961865,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    • 5 votes
    Reply#16 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:21 PM EDT
    {"commentId":961872,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    jazzman646

    Coorection, not only on NewsVine, but any other news site.

    {"commentId":961872,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    • 3 votes
    #16.1 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 3:22 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962045,"authorDomain":"wharrison55"}
    Bill Harrison

    Actually Jazz it's far more newsworthy that killfile's pos seed from Friday and far more entertaining.

    {"commentId":962045,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"wharrison55"}
    • 4 votes
    #16.2 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 4:31 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962217,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    jazzman646

    Bill,

    I just want to state I would never,

    lampoon the very serious work

    , of another NV member.

    {"commentId":962217,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    • 4 votes
    #16.3 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 5:41 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962228,"authorDomain":"schnoo"}
    schnoo

    Leave it to the professionals.

    ;^)

    {"commentId":962228,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"schnoo"}
    • 3 votes
    #16.4 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 5:46 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962257,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    jazzman646

    I defer to the master....

    {"commentId":962257,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    • 3 votes
    #16.5 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 5:59 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962430,"authorDomain":"schnoo"}
    schnoo

    In my quasi-humble opinion, the best parody requires lightness of touch, a dollop of snark, and topped off with a sprinkle of free-association mind@!$%# (to suit ones taste).

    Seems you've got it covered.

    {"commentId":962430,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"schnoo"}
    • 8 votes
    #16.6 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 7:03 PM EDT
    Reply
    {"commentId":962153,"authorDomain":"MinnieApolis"}
    MinnieApolis

    You're too funny, Jazzman. And the photos really give it that journalismy feel.
    Pretty soon you'll be writing jokes for the late night shows???
    BTW I clipped to Silly.

    {"commentId":962153,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"MinnieApolis"}
    • 3 votes
    Reply#17 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 5:11 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962213,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    jazzman646

    Laura,

    late night shows? You mean someone would actually pay me for this crap...Uh...I mean my art?

    {"commentId":962213,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    • 2 votes
    #17.1 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 5:39 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962516,"authorDomain":"MinnieApolis"}
    MinnieApolis

    Maybe if we vote it up the vine and seed it all over then Letterman or whoever will latch onto it...

    {"commentId":962516,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"MinnieApolis"}
    • 2 votes
    #17.2 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 7:44 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962521,"authorDomain":"MinnieApolis"}
    MinnieApolis

    Geez, you got the photo, you shoulda rented a video cam and then put it on the You Tube...

    {"commentId":962521,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"MinnieApolis"}
    • 1 vote
    #17.3 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 7:46 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962523,"authorDomain":"MinnieApolis"}
    MinnieApolis

    SOME aliens ARE dark-skinned. Didn't you ever see the movie Brother From Another Planet??? A rather small indie release, but rather popular. Oh you gotta dig that one up.

    {"commentId":962523,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"MinnieApolis"}
    • 2 votes
    #17.4 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 7:48 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962671,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    jazzman646

    . Didn't you ever see the movie Brother From Another Planet???

    Yeah Ive seen that one...it was great...had a real message in it too...

    {"commentId":962671,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    • 1 vote
    #17.5 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:13 PM EDT
    {"commentId":963352,"authorDomain":"brendamayer"}
    Brenda Mayer

    Very good stuff! I'm clipping this to my column.

    {"commentId":963352,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"brendamayer"}
    • 2 votes
    #17.6 - Tue Aug 21, 2007 6:38 AM EDT
    Reply
    {"commentId":962502,"authorDomain":"collin"}
    Collin

    Jazz, Thank you for taking the time to research and write this article. I have also heard of a distance relative of Godpoons named Eeweep who never got into any trouble with the secret service but there was some kind of misunderstanding in a movie theater once caused by the face that his human looking mouth was just a prop used to make the alien look normal and he actually ate popcorn through a lower organ beneath the stomach. Was a shame really because that one incident caused the secretive United Earth Counsel to revoke his alien work visa for almost a decade. Before that I heard he had a TV show and even made a movie or two in Hollywood.

    It's good that others are willing to talk about this kind of stuff because really the population has been sheltered long enough!

    Thanks again!

    {"commentId":962502,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"collin"}
    • 7 votes
    Reply#18 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 7:37 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962674,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    jazzman646

    No problem!!!

    I think i saw that guy in the theater last weekend...

    {"commentId":962674,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
    • 2 votes
    #18.1 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:16 PM EDT
    Reply
    {"commentId":962505,"authorDomain":"ronco104"}
    ron c. baker sr.

    patrick d. - i bet it is the illegal alien that came here to soak up some free government stuff, and it lokks like he scored big time !!!!!!

    {"commentId":962505,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"ronco104"}
    • 2 votes
    Reply#19 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 7:39 PM EDT
    {"commentId":962818,"authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
    backroads

    Good stuff, Jazz. My kinda high-level jernolism.

    I oughta hire you for my two wire services, A&P and Goiters.

    {"commentId":962818,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"backroadsbubba"}
    • 3 votes
    Reply#20 - Mon Aug 20, 2007 10:23 PM EDT
    {"commentId":963378,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}
    Scott (Scoop) Butki

    See I AM getting smarter here. Who knew?

    Nice job.

    {"commentId":963378,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"sbutki"}
    • 3 votes
    Reply#21 - Tue Aug 21, 2007 7:04 AM EDT
    {"commentId":963703,"authorDomain":"ktkmedia"}
    ktkmedia

    great story! i'd MUCH rather see this type of article over well-written news releases from companies (which are now being banned by newsvine) CRAP

    {"commentId":963703,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"ktkmedia"}
    • 1 vote
    Reply#22 - Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:33 AM EDT
    {"commentId":965617,"authorDomain":"sheliag"}
    Shelia

    I always knew this would happen....Wanna know HOW I knew it would happen?

    The Aliens told me so over coffee one morning!

    {"commentId":965617,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"sheliag"}
      Reply#23 - Tue Aug 21, 2007 8:31 PM EDT
      {"commentId":965681,"authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
      jazzman646

      Sheila,

      I hear ya.

      I usually do lunch with aliens because they always like to pick up the check.

      {"commentId":965681,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"jazzman646"}
        #23.1 - Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:11 PM EDT
        {"commentId":965746,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}
        Scott (Scoop) Butki

        I always knew this would happen....Wanna know HOW I knew it would happen?

        Because the aliens were hitting on me and trying out their lines and I told them I'm a gentleman and I don't get put out (plus I'm, well, male) on a first date (unless, well, the date undresses first.

        {"commentId":965746,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"sbutki"}
        • 2 votes
        #23.2 - Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:42 PM EDT
        {"commentId":965747,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}
        Scott (Scoop) Butki

        Anyway I pointed out the toilet wall graffiti - for a good time call jenna - and I guess they did.

        {"commentId":965747,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"sbutki"}
        • 2 votes
        #23.3 - Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:43 PM EDT
        {"commentId":968071,"authorDomain":"wood-s"}
        trex-138069

        Scott: It's my general experience that gentlemen GET put out on a first date if the girl DOESN'T put out.

        {"commentId":968071,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"wood-s"}
        • 2 votes
        #23.4 - Wed Aug 22, 2007 4:42 PM EDT
        {"commentId":968146,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}
        Scott (Scoop) Butki

        Yes, well, let's just say there's lot of putting and a lot that comes out on dates with me:)

        {"commentId":968146,"threadId":"140028","contentId":"907769","authorDomain":"sbutki"}
        • 1 vote
        #23.5 - Wed Aug 22, 2007 5:00 PM EDT
        Reply
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